Northern Minnesota...

Okay, it's been a couple weeks. My only excuse: I've been on vacation. First D.C. to see my son in his first job, then San Francisco for the romance writers convention, finally to northern Minnesota, land of my in-laws, where, indeed, it is actually like the movie Fargo. You betcha.

I spent a lot of time thinking about the Denis. Okay, I really didn't, but I did see two theatres that inspired me to think about it for a moment or two. First, in Fergus Falls, MN, there's a theatre with a beautiful old marquee called, what else, the Fergus. It now serves as an arts center for films, lectures and live performances. There was a play running while we were in town.

We also saw the old theatre in Fargo called, okay I know you can guess, the Fargo. This theatre is used a theatre for art films as well as first runs. The theatre went through a $2.6MM restoration in the late 1990s based on the original plans found in the archives of a Minneapolis architectural firm and includes recreated carpets, fountains and a Mighty Wurlitzer organ that rises from the stage on Saturdays for intermission music. You can read and see more here.

Anyhow, glad to be back and looking forward to seeing Vicky Christina Barcelona this weekend. Took me a long time after the Soon-Yi thing for me to even be able to think about seeing a Woody Allen movie again, but I have enjoyed the last couple.

Destinta does not equal destiny

The last time I was at the Destinta theatres in Bridgeville, we saw The Dark Knight (the film was good--Heath Ledger was excellent--but the whole thing was at least forty minutes longer than it needed to be.) It isn't that I don't like the Destinta theatres. I'm very grateful they're there and I have the choice of seeing movies in big, empty rooms far away from the throbbing mass of teenagers one finds at the South Hills Village theatres. But there are so many things at Destinta that could be better. First, the cavernous lobby and dark, labyrinthine hallways are positively creepy. I've actually got about half a screenplay mapped out in my head for a teen slasher movie that takes place in the local cineplex, and every time I'm at Destinta, I add another scene.

Second, the deserted and quite possibly never-inhabited "extra" candy counters in the darkened hallways on each side of the Destinta complex perplex me. Was the intent ever to have the more conveniently located counters open? Or are they red herrings, designed to make you think that you just missed coming on a more fun night, a night perhaps when there was dunking for apples and a carousel and a brightly lit lobby filled with happy, laughing people?

Third, the slower than molasses labyrinth folk who staff the ticket desk and candy counters drive me bonkers. It doesn't seem possible that humans could work as slowly these people do without careful training. Typical transactions go like this:

Me: (waiting while teen finishes delightful story about running into Lisa and Emma at Hot Topics and they were, like, seriously weird.)

Teen: (remembering at last he's here for a reason) Yeah. What'll it be?

Me: I'll have popcorn, no butter, and a Diet Coke.

Teen: (shuffles off aimlessly, neither in the direction of popcorn nor soda)

Me: (listening to second teen who is manning the soda machine guffaw, waiting for the auto filler to finish) I wonder if the movie's started?

Teen: (returns with a cup) Did you say Coke?

Me: Diet Coke.

Teen: Ah. (throws full cup into garbage. Gets new cup, fills it, finds popcorn tub in cabinet under the nacho lights, fills it) Did you want butter with this?

Me: No, thank you.

Teen: The butter's over there.

Me: Got it.

Teen: For another eight dollars you can get our Movie Lover's package. That includes a box of Jordan Almonds.

Me: Ah, thanks but pass.

Teen: Your call. That'll be $16.75 (or some other figure that sounds more like the price of new shoes than a snack.)

Meanwhile, 3 teens with Mohawks, 4 men in sandals with poor foot care habits, 7 screaming children and 3 couples necking have fallen into line behind me, I've misplaced the ticket stub and can't remember if I'm in theatre 14 South or 47 North, and I realize the attendant's given me Coke. The process screams for optimization.

But how nice to imagine the Denis Theatre, with a coffee shop, friendly faces, lighted common areas and a theatre full of patrons happy to be seeing a movie and supporting their community at the same time. I can't wait.